Posts Tagged 'beliefs'

If ignorance is not the problem, what is?

[I]gnorance is rarely the problem. The challenge is that people don’t always care about what you care about. And the reason they don’t care isn’t that they don’t know what you know. The reason is that they don’t believe what you believe. The challenge, then, isn’t to inform them. It’s to engage and teach and communicate in a way that shares emotion and values and beliefs. – Seth Godin

It is common to blame ignorance for what we view as someone’s wrong-headed behavior.

Not knowing something important, of course, is sometimes the problem.

But more often than not when people argue about ideas or goals or strategies, especially with strong emotion, they are as likely arguing about underlying beliefs, which are often invisible to participants in the “conversation.”

Resilient people listen attentively for the beliefs that are often hidden beneath the surface of conversations, and they engage others in respectful conversations about their beliefs.

Such listening is challenging, of course, because of the emotions that may be attached to often invisible beliefs.

But unless we listen deeply and have dialogue about our beliefs we will continue to repeat the same frustrating conversations, conversations that not only diminish our influence but may damage important relationships.

What skills or processes enable you to “engage and teach and communicate in a way that shares emotion and values and beliefs”?

Some of my favorite questions

question: [kwes-chuh n]/noun

1. a sentence in an interrogative form, addressed to someone in order to get information in reply.

2. a problem for discussion or under discussion; a matter for investigation.

3. a matter of some uncertainty or difficulty; problem (usually followed by of).

4. a subject of dispute or controversy.

Resilient people are resourceful, which means they enjoy the challenges presented by intriguing questions and the ambiguous situations or problems they may pose.

Such questions cause people to think more deeply about important things and to think thoughts that they otherwise would not have thought.

Here are two of my favorite questions:

• What would you do if you had more than enough money to support yourself and your family for a lifetime? What goals would you pursue and how would you spend your time?

• What significant challenge would you take on if you knew you could not fail? Or, put another way, what important things would you do if you were not afraid?

And here are a few questions that specifically address resilience:

• What core beliefs or principles would you not compromise?

• When will you stand firm, when will you bend, and how will you decide?

• What strengths do you bring to situations that require resilience?

• What people, groups, or other resources do you draw upon during challenging times for inspiration, clarity, and guidance?

• What lessons has your life taught you about surviving and even thriving during difficult times?

What are your favorite questions?


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